SERIES::THE MISSING KEY (EPISODE 12)

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John lay on his bed
with his back, while his eyes
were looking at the ceiling.
He didn’t know what was
wrong with him. He didn’t know
what else to do. If dad was serious
that he should leave the house, where will he go? Perhaps
he shouldn’t have talked back at
dad.

He should have begged
him and asked him
for forgiveness.
But he didn’t see
dad as that
kind of man. He
didn’t know
how to beg dad for
forgiveness.
The moment would
be
awkward.
He has never
begged dad for
forgiveness in his
life.
Dad was really
furious. And John
was sure dad
meant every word
when he said that
they should
leave his house. He
knew
dad would be mad if
he found
out about his
smoking but he
never intended for
dad to find
out. His friends
forced
him into doing it. He
resisted
them the first
week but they
continued to
pressure him. He
had taken a drag
and
coughed. It was a
wired feeling
at first but he
started liking, it
calmed his confused
nerves and
served as a means
of
escape when his
mind was
chocked up in the
confusion of
what the future
hold for him.
Somehow he didn’t
care if dad
would get hurt
when he finds
out. After all dad
didn’t care.
Nobody cared about
what he
was doing in the
house. Nobody
cared about how he
felt, the
changes he was
going through
as he turned into
adult and
nobody was there
to answer
that questions that
bothered
him.
Question like how
he felt about
women. His friends
always told
him about the girls
they've been
with and how it felt.
He wanted to have
a feel of
what his friends
felt. They
encouraged him to
talk to Susie.
Susie was the girl all
his
friends knew he had
a crush on.
He was afraid she
would say no.
but they continued
to
encourage him and
without
knowing what to
say or how to
act he went to her
and she said
no. he had felt very
bad. His
friends laughed
at him. They told
him that he
will never have a girl
of his own,
he will never have
sex. This
really affected his
self
esteem. He felt ugly
and
unwanted. And
when he comes
home, nobody cared.
Nobody in
the whole world
liked him.
But he still had his
friends; at
least they listened
to him. He
needed to prove to
them that he
wasn’t a loser. He
wanted to feel
accepted and feel
among. He wanted
to prove to
them that he
wasn’t a loser.
They mustn’t
reject him. If they
reject him, he
would be all alone in
the whole
world. He might
commit suicide.
All his friends have
had sex
except him. He really
wanted to.
He had been so
curious
especially after
watching all the
pornographic
pictures and
movies. One of his
friends had
suggested they go
to a brothel.
He waited after
school and
when it was getting
late they
went to a brothel
and there he
had sex. He came
home that day
feeling weird.
He felt like a
changed man. Still
nobody noticed him,
nobody
cared.
Yes his results were
bad and he
has been missing
classes. But
he didn’t
understand why he
didn’t care.
Somehow he had
wanted our parents
to see that
his results were bad
so that
they might notice
him. It all
started as a result
of an
unconscious
yearning for
attention. But it
didn’t work. Yet
the missing class
act had
unconsciously
become a habit
that he could no longer
control. He started enjoying it,
finding nopleasure in attending classes.
He felt guilty but it
didnt change anything. He
could always rationalize and tell
himself that he owed no one an
explanation for his actions.
He never for once
thought his father would find
out. How could he have
known that the key would be
missing this Monday
morning and everything about
his life style would be brought
into the open? He remembered
the anger on dad’s face. Yes,
dad was never a cheerful man
especially around his
family, but the way he felt
today was quite different. The old
man was hurt, deeply
hurt.
John felt both anger and pity for
dad. It was mixed emotion. But
his young mind couldn’t come
up with possible ways of escaping this neither could he think of what next to do if dad actually sent him
out of the house.
Perhaps he shouldn’t have
exchanged words with dad.
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WATCH OUT FOR
EPISODE 13.